That's right.  It's Friday so it's time for me to scour the internet for really bad excerpts from resumes.  Today I throw in some cover letter bonuses, too.  Enjoy.

Oh, and have I mentioned I hate cover letters.  Really hate them.  A short and sweet intro email is fine, but oh my gosh, these cover letter lines below are way too familiar.

Resumes:

I have a bachelorette degree in computers

I eat computers for lunch

Previous experience: Self-employed -- a fiasco

Married, eight children. Prefer frequent travel

Objectives: 10-year goal: Total obliteration of sales and federal income taxes and tax laws

Cover letters:

I saw your ad on the information highway, and I came to a screeching halt.

Please disregard the attached resume -- it is terribly out of date.

My fortune cookie said, 'Your next interview will result in a job' -- and I like your company in particular.

I don't usually blow my own horn, but in this case, I will go right ahead and do so.

You are privileged to receive my resume.